I Am The Hypocrite.

This is not meant to offend.
I've had directed blog posts before, but not one written with just one person/group of persons in mind. This changes that.
It's meant to remind me of where i should be. Rather, where i shouldn't be.
It's meant to remind me of the standards i must hold myself to.
It's meant to remind me of growth.

"I didn't know he cussed," one said with a frown.
The other looked offended, "He doesn't."
"You've never been around him when you're not there. Might surprise you."
"Listen, he's had a hard life, okay? You can't blame him for one slip!" the other exclaimed.
The first sighed, and responded softly, "It wasn't a slip; he didn't even know he did it when I asked him about it. It's what he does, just not around y'all. And he's not of the world, I'm not supposed to hold him to the world's standards. Am I?"
"He doesn't cuss, got it?"
"Neither do you . . ."
"That's not fair."

Some might know the situation surrounding this. Maybe. I don't know.
I should clarify that i don't necessarily think cussing is an absolute sin. I think it's subjective, to be honest. If you feel convicted, then don't do it. But it's a gray area, and i like to stay away from such things.
If you're a Christian and you cuss, i won't judge you. If you serve in the church or claim to be a representative of Christ, i will hold you to unworldly standards. 1 Corinthians 8 and Romans 12:1-2 more or less explain my reasoning.

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
That's not just telling a child how they should act, but showing them by example.
If you do something, you can rest assured your children will do the same.
Yes, they see you at the altar, they see you with your hands raised, they see you when you're happy and worshiping, they see you when you're Godly.
They also see you the other six days of the week. Even if something you do is not done around your family, your children will still imitate you.
If you say "We don't say that in this house," yet you say it outside of it, so they will as well. If you claim to not cuss, yet you do when you're not around your family, your children will also cuss when they're not around you. Children are a fruit of your works.

A friend of mine who's from a family that "doesn't cuss" did cuss. And not rarely. I once confronted them about it, saying "Your parents don't want you cussing, do they?"
The response was shocking; "I don't cuss in their house."
I wondered if that was a fruit of the works of the parents, but kept the thought fleeting.
It had to be the world and my friend's exposure to it. After all, that's what they told me was the cause.

But i've since realized that "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" is the motto. The house is pure. The house is clean. The house is safe. The house is a building.
Outside, much is still refrained. But i heard many stories that i did not ask to hear from several firsthand witnesses. Stories that disgusted me. Stories they laughed at.

It's not the cussing in general that bothers me. It doesn't bother me that i was told i'm "sitting on [my] ***."
No, the thing that bothered me is that these people would've shunned me if i had said that same thing. Err, rather, they probably would've shunned me if i'd said it in their house.It bothered me that the ones telling me the stories -and laughing at them- were under their authority, and weren't supposed to cuss, or even say "sucks" in the context of lacking quality. I don't say it in that context.
Then the authority figure told me that. And also said "It hurts, and it s**ks."
I stared at the letter he sent in complete bewilderment.
Those words in themselves don't matter. But when you set a rule and don't follow it, when you rebuke the a word that you use yourself, that is "The practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform."
That's a sin. It's called hypocrisy.

I have to remind myself that, if i ever have children, i must hold myself to the same standards i set for them.
Actually, i'm wrong. I must hold myself to stricter standards. The example i set will be followed. If that's being holy in church and in the house, yet becoming part of the world when i go out into it, then i know my children would do the same. If i were to "like" things online that are foul, crude, vulgar, and sexually immoral, it would be expected that my children would be alright with the same things.

I am a hypocrite. I'm quicker to point out my own falls and shortcomings than i am to point out anyone else's.
I am a hypocrite. My anger has a hold on me.
Maybe i can learn to get a hold on it and direct it gracefully, using it as a motivation to make positive change. And i'm using it this time to remind myself to grow and to hold myself to unworldly standards, to remember that i am in and not of, that i am not "one of the guys" not only because of my social awkwardness, but because i simply do not fit or conform.

An Open Letter To Fellow Men Guys

It's time to step it up a little.
I'm thankful to be from a state where common courtesy is uncommonly common. Not to say Texas is better than anywhere else (though it sort of is . . .), because i have much disdain for numerous aspects of it.

1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Now, this is directed not just at men, but rather married men. Still, parts of this can be applied to unwed men, namely the part where it says "showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel."
Here lies some controversy, as this could be seen as a male supremacist quote. How many male manual/heavy laborers are there for each female one? How many male bodybuilders are there for each female one? There are women stronger than me, and more physically capable than me. But on average, men are stronger than women, and that's fact. Deal with it.

Now on to the point of this post.
Guys, we really need to work on our manhood. In the verses leading up to this one, it speaks of the conduct of wives; how they should act and why. It tells them to be, essentially, not just women but ladies. There is a difference in the two terms; a woman is a person of the female sex. A lady is a woman who is noble and true. She is an upright, moral, intelligent woman. She is not one to fall in with any crowd, to appease for the sake of appeasing but rather for the sake of setting an example, and she is respectable in her respect for others.
And guys, with what is asked of women in this chapter, we are asked merely to show honor to them as the weaker vessel.
Our gender-role is quite simple, really.
Yet we still fail at it.
It's time we fixed that, yeah?

I'm not saying we should all become gentlemen overnight (though we should try). Let's start by becoming men. Let's work on the gentle part after we have mastered the way of being a man.

In this, i'm challenging any man that would accept.
Let's start simple, like opening doors for women, or offering to help load groceries. If we see a woman carrying something heavy or trying to lift something strenuously, it's our duty to show honor to them by offering assistance. Not to flex our muscles, but to use them so that they aren't required to.
We're not flirting, we're not trying to win hearts, we're not trying to impress, we're not even trying to be gentlemen; we're just being men.

And yes, i'm trying to add contrast between the genders with this, to repaint the line between our natures.
Not for the sake of friction or to say one sex is greater than the other. No, neither is greater; we're both required, we're both capable, we're both equal. Our natural tendencies and capabilities are different--not better or worse, just different.
But we need lines. We need contrast. We need character. We need God-given roles in our lives.
A brain and a heart are both required for life, so which is greater? The heart for pumping the blood to the brain so that the brain can tell the heart to pump blood? No, they're different, mandatory, and equal.

Without these gender-roles, society's heart will stop pumping blood to the brain, or else the brain will stop telling it to . . . Society will lose both its heart and its brain if we continue diminishing the contrast between the two.

Red

So, there's this modern hard rock band called Red; one of my favorites. I'm all for in-your-face spirituality in lyrics like Disciple, HB, Theocracy, etc. offer, but Red purposefully teeters between the Christian and secular crowds, offering spiritual encouragement ("Pieces", "Not Alone", "Best Is Yet To Come"), often talking about being at war between our human and spiritual nature ("Fight Inside", "Death of Me"), reciting words of hope for those who feel hopeless ("Gave It All Away"), and anthems for the ones who feel alone ("Who We Are", "Faceless", "Feed The Machine"). Their goal is to encourage those looking for answers, to try and be a light in the darkness, and to attract as many as they can with a message inclusive to everyone, not just believers.

As said, i love when a band just throws it all out there, saying blatantly where they stand, waging war against sinfulness, pointing out the wages of sin; "We are the war against the sick and fatal fall of man, a hollow-tip to the notion of a Godless stand" ("A Thread of Light" by Demon Hunter). But it's nice that there are bands out there, like Red, who are appealing to a secular crowd, yet pray for and with their fans, take time for their fans, they spread the Word of God using the stage as a pulpit, etc. They hand out tracts at their shows, from what i've heard, which is impressive for a band whose latest album reached #1 rock album of the year on iTunes in preorders alone.

But i do have an issue with them; one, and one alone. I noticed it while listening to them in the car earlier.
They mention in some songs the grace and mercy shown to them ("Forever", "Start Again", "Pieces"). It's rather obvious, even to someone who's never opened the Bible, that they're talking about God. However, they don't write about forgiving others . . .

The song "Wasting Time"; "Don't even try, you're wasting time. Come back, i'll beat you down, and turn around--i'm fighting my way through you. Push you away, i'll never break; come back i'll beat you down, it's over now. I'm turning my back on you."
The song "Watch You Crawl" is a little more aggressive, gloating even, stating "I'll let you drown in your despair, now nothing can save you. I will fight until the end (get ready to collide), and i will watch you fall again (i'll bury you alive). You tried to bring me to my knees (you tried to take it all), now i will stand and watch you crawl. I'm still here, i'm still here, i'm still here, now i'm gonna watch you beg, beg, beg."

So yeah . . . That's my issue with Red. "Hymn For The Missing" and "Not Alone", however, are two of the most patient, loving, forgiving and beautifully written songs i know of. In "Hymn...", it's just so passionate; he's essentially saying "I don't care what's happened, I'm still here, still reaching for you, still longing for you to come back to me."
There's my music review for the day. All-in-all, there are a couple songs i skip by Red (though not for indecency or anything), but they are one of my favorite bands.